As you all are aware I am a very strong person and not much gets me down and when I'm down I bounce back up at carry on (at least that's what I think you guys think about me, I could be completely wrong). I've been thinking alot since this miscarriage. Not about the miscarriage persay, but all my life events up until now.
I feel I have been through hell and back over the past 10 years of my life. But my friends make me feel a whole lot better by telling me "I was so worried you weren't going to learn something from this situation". and that makes me feel better cause I was hoping I wasn't joking myself and that I have learned things.
The biggest lesson I learned was from my past relationship with "you know who" and how I was not going to be treated in my next relationship (which happened to be Phil). To this day I don't think people know the abuse I had to endure and I saw things and went through things people should never have had to deal with ever. Which sucks because those images are forever going to be in my head. I think you guys know what I'm talking about? This isn't a pity blog, I've just been thinking a lot lately. I just for once would like something to go smooth and easy in my life. It's incredibly frustrating. As I sit here and write this blog, I impatiently await trying for another baby again. I can't do that right away until for another month. So I guess I will just sit back and let life take me where it wants to go (eventhough it's incredibly hard). This is too deep, even for me ha ha ha. But I am having a moment. I'll have to write about something funny next time I log in.
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For some reason I didn't read this blog until now. I'm not sure how I missed it.
ReplyDeleteBut anyhoo. I'll comment now.
I hear ya - there have been some rough patches along the way. I constantly wonder why things can't ever go smooth and easy for me either. It IS incredibly frustrating. Boo.
But at the same time, if it wasn't for those tremendously difficult times - the good times that we get wouldn't be so tremenously good either. So I'm grateful for that, and happy that I have been so fortunate to watch you discover for yourself what other people (like me) have known all along about how special you are :)
Even though they are rough, those are good life lessons to learn :)
And I've learned A LOT about the kind of person I want to be, from watching you. So even in those times when it seems so rough like 'why is this happening to me' - you're not alone. I'm learning too :)